The 10 Biggest Business Myths & Gilbert’s Secret Rules of Business Success
The following is a transcription of the 2008 commencement speech given by Steve Gilbert at the Lauder Institute of The Wharton School. Steven is the Senior Managing Director and Chairman of SUN Group (USA). He is also Chairman of the Board of Gilbert Global Equity Partners, L.P., a billion dollar private equity fund and Vice Chairman of the Executive Board of MidOcean Partners. For those of you that are interested, this is a brilliant read full of no-frills, hard hitting advice.
When I sat, where you are sitting right now, the speaker at this venue, who had entered Wharton 40 years before I started, was probably Class of 1927. That means, he (there were no women in those days), was born around the turn of the Century. He was too young for World War I, but his grandfather was born about the time of the Civil War. And he was headed right into the Great Depression.
In 1905, when he was born, the average life expectancy in the US was 47 years. 14 percent of US homes had a bathtub. 8 percent had telephones. There were 8,000 cars, and 144 miles of paved roads. 95% of all births took place at home. 90% of all doctors had no college education. Most women washed their hair once a month, and used Borax or egg yolks for shampoo. Crossword puzzles, canned beer and iced tea hadn’t been invented. Only 6 percent of all Americans had graduated from high school. Marijuana, heroin and morphine were all available, over the counter at the local corner drugstore.
My speaker in 1967 had a business career that did not include the Internet, e-mail, calculators, personal computers, cellphones or the electric toothbrush. How did they ever survive? How did they ever do business? How did they ever succeed? Of course, that’s what you will be thinking, when your holograph stands here 40 years from now. But I wanted to give you a touch of perspective. Because the arc of your career will be a lot shorter than you think. But some things haven’t changed. I am confident, that whatever the technology over the next 40 years, what I am about to tell you will remain constant.
Now, you all suppose that I am about to launch into a diatribe about macro-economics, Sovereign Wealth Funds, and international economics. If that is what you find interesting, read The Economist. Because what you all want to know, as you enter the work force, is “What are the secrets of success?” By just being in this room, you are amongst the elite of this planet. You are surely in the top 1%. Being in the Lauder School, the top one percent of that metric. But only some of you, hardly all, based on history, will succeed in business. That’s because you don’t have Gilbert’s Secret Rules of Business Success. They have been derived from a lifetime of trial and error. Take notes.
1. Show up on time. You might think this to be humorous or facetious. But, as your career goes on, you will find there are a lot of people who cannot do this. Their plane is always late, they pick up the phone before the big meeting, they can’t meet a deadline. 90% of meetings start late. When your colleagues and bosses know that you will show up when promised, they will have confidence in you, and begin to trust you.
2. Do what you are asked to do. Don’t do what you think ought to be required. Don’t add pages of data to prove your point. Summarize the data so your boss doesn’t have to. Don’t change the assignment. Give your boss what he asked for, and life will be simple. You can add exhibits for recreational reading, but only the first two pages will be read.
3. When asked a direct question, answer, “Yes”, ‘No”, or “I don’t know but will find out”. Don’t tell a story. Don’t obfuscate. Don’t repeat the question you were just asked. Don’t fill the air with information of interest only to you. Answer first. Tell the story second, if you must. You would be shocked at how few people can do this. Always make full disclosure.
4. Handle every piece of paper only once. Paper left on your desk will grow, even without food or water. Looking at the same piece of paper multiple times is wasteful, counter-productive, and cuts down on your recreation time.
5. Make your boss look good. Eventually, this will work. Organizations always know who really does the work. Empty suits can’t hide forever. If you make your boss look bad, you might have to try this at your next job.
6. If it isn’t in writing, it doesn’t exist. Without an email or a piece of paper, nothing anyone says to you means anything. Promises are broken all the time in business, and memories are extraordinarily selective.
7. Everyone works hard, don’t complain or point out how hard you are working. No one cares. They all have their own issues. Your best bet is to act like a duck, looking calm and composed on the surface, but pedaling furiously under the water.
8. Honesty is the best policy. Not just because it is, but also because when things get complicated, you won’t be able to remember all the lies you told. If you are always honest, only your memory for the truth is at issue.
9. Being nice is more profitable than being nasty. It takes much less energy to be nice. People want to work with you. You will be happier and so will your colleagues.
10. Speed is important. Most people will value a quick “no” more than a lengthy “maybe”. Responding quickly is much appreciated. Run to the problem first.
11. Work smart, not just hard. Don’t confuse speed with torque. Sitting at your desk all night is not the same thing as making progress. Figure out, each day, what you need to do to succeed. Determine what you need from a meeting; don’t just blindly enter the room like a lamb.
12. Be realistic. No one is going to make you CEO while the ink on your MBA is still drying. Even for the best, it takes a few years before people are comfortable that you can do all the things you think you can.
13. Don’t be afraid to be bold. You can, and certainly will, be able to get another job. Don’t be afraid to find the door if you don’t like what is going on. The sign on the door of opportunity reads PUSH. Don’t be afraid to suggest a new line of business. Don’t be afraid to stand up for your vision. As Ayn Rand said “Money demands that you sell, not your weakness to men’s stupidity, but your talent to their reason.”
14. You have more than one job. You can never be happier than your least happy child. You may have to be a husband, wife, father, mother, a son, a daughter, a nurse or a nursemaid during your lifetime. If you fail at any of these jobs, success in the others will be meaningless.
15. You don’t have to cure cancer to be a success. Being a good citizen, a good parent, a good friend, a productive and charitable member of society is all most of us can hope for. And remarkably few achieve.
If you follow these simple rules, you should do just fine. As simple as they sound, 98% of all MBA graduates cannot, or will not, comply with these rules. You know who you are.
Now, I am going to give you the ten biggest business myths. Things you hear, or, are told, that sound plausible, but just aren’t true. Keep these on file, and send me $10 every time you hear one. I will leave a Post Office Box address in Lichtenstein after the speech.
1. You have more security here at Gigantabank than you do on your own. Just not true. One strategic shift, one downsizing, one reorganization, one boss with a bad hangover, and you are toast at Gigantabank. You have no job security. You just have less pay.
2. “You’re really smart!” When you are a buyer, every joke you tell is funny and every insight you have is brilliant. Don’t try these jokes at home. Most people see your position, not your fabulous personality and good looks.
3. “There is almost no risk to this”. A good definition of risk is that more things will go wrong than can go wrong. Nothing is without risk. Your job is to find the risks, define them, see if you can contain them or live with them, given the return offered. Nothing is riskless.
4. “This time it’s different”. Not that I can tell. The laws of supply and demand, risk and reward, greed and fear, have remained constant since men got up on two feet. And I suspect it always will.
5. “It’s not about the money”. When someone tells me this, I am then sure it is about the money.
6. “You can tell me”. No, you can’t. When someone entrusts you with confidential information, anyone you give it to won’t trust you to keep a secret. And, they are likely to pass it on, no matter how sincere they seem at the time. Keep your own counsel. As Ben Franklin said, “three can keep a secret if two are dead.”
7. “We are Best-in-Breed”. If dogs could talk, this would matter. But who is going to tell you, “we are just a second-rate operation, please do business with us”? Internally and externally, it is in the interest of everyone to assume they are the best and brightest. Hopefully, you will be able to tell the difference.
8. “We have no politics here”. This is true, but only if you have a lights-out, industrial clean room with robots. If there are people involved, there will be politics. Even in the Bible, they just had Adam and Eve, they had politics.
9. “Everyone is doing it” This is the surest ticket to a custodial experience that I know. Not only is everybody usually wrong, but they are probably treading on a fuzzy white line. If everybody is doing it, you probably shouldn’t be.
10. “My word is my bond”. If your word is so good, why won’t you commit yourself to paper? Because they don’t intend to keep their word, and don’t want a record, that’s why.
If you follow the No Longer Secret Gilbert Rules, and don’t believe the myths, you should do fine. It really isn’t much more difficult than that. Because we all know you are smart. Smart is just the beginning. The basic requirement. There is no shortage of smart people in business.
And there are more smart people on the way. Investment in infrastructure in newly developing countries will unlock vast quantities of human capital, probably the most valuable resource on the planet. Airports, roads, hospitals, ports, power plants, communications, potable water, adequate sanitation and other related investments will bring hundreds of millions of new consumers, investors, artists, writers, businessmen and women into the worldwide matrix of human capital.
So, Lauder graduates another pool of human capital, small in number, but large in intellect, ambition and desire. Now, armed with the secret rules for business success, go forth and prosper.
Thank You.
Thanks, Jules for sending me this, and of course to David, who sent it to her (and so on).
Taking The Red Pill: Thoughts On A Week of Professional Hacking Training
This week I really got to see just how deep the rabbit hole goes. Five long days sitting in a lab in Orlando with 20 professional hackers has opened my eyes to just how insecure the systems and connections we trust every day really are. The experience was nothing short of mind-bending. Passwords were pulled from the air at the touch of a button, CNN’s home page was defaced in front of my eyes, and tens of thousands of dollars could have easily gone “missing” from e-commerce websites at checkout - and these guys were loving every minute of it. The bigger and more complex the hack, the greater the bragging rights, and the capture-the-flag competitions in our little “closed loop” lab got pretty intense. I say this with a smile - I’m just as paranoid now as I am stricken with awe and admiration of people who have mastered this particular brand of technical hocus pocus.
Before last week, I was pretty green when it comes to black hat hacking - I’m grateful for having the opportunity to learn so much and meet the great group of guys that took part in the pilot training program. It’s funny, I hear horror stories from my clients all the time, but I’ve never really seen the true extent of what is possible by looking over the shoulder of someone waving the magic wand. This week was awesome because I actually got to get my hands dirty and try things in a closed network that I couldn’t even attempt in my own time without breaking the law. For that reason alone, this week was invaluable - it gave us all a chance to trade our white hats for black ones, if only for a few afternoons, and get to “know our enemy” on a much more intimate level. For those of you wondering, here’s a high level overview of what 50 hours of “Ethical Hacking” training covers:
- Abusing DNS
- Abusing SNMP
- Passive intelligence gathering (techniques for gathering info remotely, what types of info bad guys go after and how multi-pronged attacks are planned)
- Hacking TCP-IP
- Stealthy Network Recon Techniques
- Breaking Windows and Unix Passwords (terrifyingly easy, btw)
- Learning exploitation (using zero days, reverse engineering and gathering info on known exploits from the net)
- Exploiting Windows OS, Apps and Linux (ever seen someone hack into a machine by writing and executing code directly into windows media player? Jaw dropping stuff)
- Deep Target Penetration (how to go after info on the CEO’s laptop from outside the firewall, for example)
- Offensive Sniffing (you’d be shocked at how many passwords you can get with free tools just sitting in a hotel lobby)
- Covert Channels (think a firewall can stop everything? Wrong.)
- Covering Your Tracks (manipulating logs, using stenography to hide information in plain sight, matching traffic types and patterns, exploiting how intrusion detection systems work)
- Wireless insecurity (this module made me never want to connect to the net in public places again, but also taught me how to get free wireless at just about any Starbucks or public hotspot - very cool)
- Attacking Routers
- Hacking Web Apps (defacing web pages, e-shoplifting and SQL injection to exploit interfaces with web databases etc. - coolest thing was that we saw the instructor change the price and quantity of an expensive set of items in his shopping cart on a real e-commerce website using just a free firefox extension.)
All of this is pretty scary stuff, really.
Overall, my memories of this week will be bitter sweet. The good is that the experiences I had will significantly change the way I approach my work from now on, and will definitely improve the way I engage my clients. The bad is that….I can’t go back to not knowing what’s out there. I worry that the geek in me won’t get the same kind of “job-well-done” rush that I used to get when I’d finish a security assessment or an IT audit. A week ago, I thought we were really designing good full-body armor, but now it feels like I’m handing my clients some cheap fencing gear, patting them on the back and reassuring them that they should feel confident about going into battle. My heart sinks a little, you know? I know now that we just don’t have the budgets, the equipment or permission to be able to do what’s truly necessary to protect a company’s systems from the really dangerous attackers. That all may change as our industry evolves, but for now, the cold hard truth is that even an IT security expert with an unlimited budget, no restrictions and infinite time couldn’t get your risk to zero. It’s a scary world out there and my eyes are wide open. The only question now is, if Google can be your worst enemy, and novice hackers can download powerful tools for free, and attack an organization from virtual, anonymous “clouds” from anywhere in the world without much fear of getting caught, how do you really circle the wagons effectively? Or more importantly, how do you stop paranoia getting the best of you? 
What Matters Most When Determining Popularity Across the Web? All Time Stats or Momentum?
Fraser, Alex, Adam, Pat and I are having an awesome debate today on the BlueBlog. Feel free to weigh in.
On context: http://tinyurl.com/6qqbnk and the “Beckett Rule”: http://tinyurl.com
The Mystery Box
J.J. Abrams is just plain awesome. Thanks to Alex for twittering this link.
Getting To Know You In 140 Charaters Or Less
At first glance it might seem counter intuitive that microblogging could allow you to get to know someone more intimately than a regular blog. Closeness and familiarity in 140 characters or less? You might ask yourself: What could I possibly say in a series of text messages that would be meaningful enough for acquaintances to bother to keep reading? People everywhere are discovering that the answer is actually “a lot”.
A fundamental fact about microblogging platforms like Twitter is that the mobile devices we use and the speed we can post changes not only how we blog, but what we blog. Stuff that I’d never blog about makes it to Twitter, and I’m sure that’s true for most Twitter users. Even capping out at 140 characters per post, a stream of small posts about where you are, where you’re going, what you’re doing, eating, enjoying, reading, watching, feeling in near real time is actually far more personal and meaningful than reading a more lengthy article written by someone on the realities of, say, “microblogging.” 
The recent rise and success of microblogging platforms like Twitter has shown us that people crave the personal, even in short snippets. Places you go, meals you enjoy, small comments and opinions on things you like as you’re experiencing them. These snippets of personal data matter in the blogging world. That they matter, coupled with the fact that microblogging allows us the speed and convenience to share this data with others conveniently, means that microblogging will only increase in popularity.
(Here’s my Twitter link for those curious folks interested in following me.)
The Rise Of The Liveblogging Phenomenon
It’s amazing how fast information travels nowadays. With rapid adoption rates of multi-function, browser-ready devices like the iPhone becoming a norm, people are blogging constantly - Liveblogging, a term that I’ve seen used on tech-centric blogs like TechCrunch and Read Write Web, describes the act of blogging an experience as it’s happening. I didn’t notice how common a phenomenon liveblogging was until going to ETech - during keynotes and presentations people would hold up their iPhones take a picture of the slide and then quickly email it to themselves and (presumably) post it to their blogs, even before the next slide was up. Talk about rapid exchanges of information - imagine a TechCrunch blogger posting in real time to 753K RSS readers around the world. Recently, I’ve seen tons of “liveblogged” posts on tech blogs - yesterday’s post on CrunchGear titled Live from the CTIA Wireless 2008 Keynote is a perfect example of the Liveblogging phenomenon - you can even see people’s heads in the photos showing the slides. Of course, along with people photoblogging using their iPhones, they’ve also got their laptops open, Twittering and emailing at the same time. Doesn’t anyone just listen anymore? You can be damn sure that tons of new apps for the iPhone (and similar devices) are going to focus on streamlining these kinds of activities.
Here’s a video I found on YouTube that shows just how easy it is to Blog in real time on an iPhone. For those of you wondering, no I don’t have one, and yes, I do want one. Badly.
Analysing The Results Of The Gmail Custom Time April Fools Post
So yesterday was April fools day, one of my favorite days of the year. Suffice it to say that I was bored at work and feeling a bit mischievous. Although the bullpen I sit in is full of lively and fun-loving IT and forensic accountants, the morning went by without incident, which was pretty lame and disappointing (Everyone’s trying to close out their 3-31 projects, so I can’t blame them really). By noon I was dying to see something go down. And then I saw Gmail’s little “Custom Time” April fools spoof and decided to try and have a little bloggy fun on my own.
To be completely honest, I didn’t really know what to think of the Custom Time page that Google put up. It was definitely creative, but it seemed so obvious, and not that funny…would people even notice? Would they really believe it? Was it worth it to Google to actually pay a team of employees to brain storm the idea, make a creative, and go through the process of getting engineers to add a little red link in the top right hand corner of Gmail for just a day? I asked a couple of guys at work what they thought and I got some quick validation - Creative, but also obvious, pointless and ignorable. A couple of guys even said they were really irritated at first. Interesting. Still, I wasn’t convinced that my IT audit buddies were a true representative sample of “all Gmail users.” I needed some hard data. After all, these guys spend all day analyzing data for potential fraud. So after I got back from lunch I decided it was worth a half-hour to see if I could push the lie and get a rise out of a few people. In retrospect it was a feeble attempt to have some fun, but I half expected some people to be legitimately pissed. Maybe non-Gmail users hadn’t heard about it or didn’t notice? Maybe people knew about the spoof, but thought it was lame….but maybe some people were infuriated? I was legit curious. All things considered, I started to wonder how April-fools-aware the average stumble-upon user really was, and, given that it was April 1st, I posted a quick-and-dirty rant about Google being evil.
After hitting “publish” and asking a couple of friends to stumble the post, I waited. I half expected a bunch of comments that just called me out — Hey idiot, it’s April Fools! — Fraser gets 50 points for his reaction time and wit in that regard. But I was secretly dying to spark some heated debate about the sanctity of time with at least a few unsuspecting idiots, who, unaware that it was 04/01 might have felt threatened/outraged by Google’s little white lie. Despite a small spike in traffic to 113 unique visitors yesterday, I had no such luck in that regard. In fact, I only got one comment from a stumbler “hahahah. That’s funny“. But the data I did get from Google analytics was interesting enough, and confirmed that either (A) I am a bad liar, or (B) most stumblers agree with the IT Auditors. The truth is probably a mix of both ;-). As you can see, the high bounce rate and low average time spent on the post shows pretty definitively that people didn’t care at all, and the lack of comments on the post confirms it, which, I think, begs a few questions. Did people even notice or care about the spoof yesterday? Did people think it was funny? The title of this morning’s TechCrunch’s post “Gmail April Fools Not Very Funny. On The Upside They Started A Wikipedia War” kind of says it all. And 753,000 RSS readers were delivered that slag post this morning. So why did Google devote any resources to the spoof at all if they ran the risk of pissing people off, and provoking bad PR on big blogs TechCrunch? Thoughts anyone?
Gmail’s New “Custom Time” Feature Opens The Floodgates to Time Stamp Manipulation
You’ve probably seen novelty programs like TimeMachiner that allow you to send emails into the future. But what about being able to send emails into the past? Better yet, what about being able to send emails to a recipient marked as read into the past? Gmail’s new beta “custom time” , which was released yesterday, lets you do just that. Kiss your trust in time stamps goodbye.
At some point, we’ve all had or witnessed (some form of) the following argument:
Person A: Why didn’t you do X? Dude, I sent you an email about that a week ago….
Person B: No you didn’t. I check my email 40 times a day. I would never miss something like that.
Person A: Check your email. Trust me. It’s there…
From now on, if you’re “Person A” in this argument, it’s entirely possible that you’ll rush to your inbox expecting validation and instead be surprised and embarrassed to find a “read” message from “Person B”. Of course, you’ve never actually read the message before, but there’s no way to prove that you didn’t. What do you do then?
I’ve always found comfort in the sanctity of time stamps. I trust and count on them, so just reading about this beta set me on fire. In regular Google fashion, they’ve made the functionality super easy to use, which makes it all the more terrifying.
The only saving grace, really, is that Gmail says it’ll limit users to just 10 pre-dated emails per year, siting that Google researchers have concluded that “allowing each person more than ten pre-dated emails per year would cause people to lose faith in the accuracy of time.” Maybe it’s just me, but it would only take ONE pre-dated email showing up in my inbox to render me faithless.
If you haven’t seen the testimonials on the Custom Time Beta description page, I wholeheartedly encourage you to take a quick gander over there. I’ve captured my favorites in a screenshot. Dude, I thought Google’s motto was “Don’t Be Evil“?
What do you think? Please comment freely.
Praying for A Premium News Jackpot
Adii’s running a contest that WordPress theme designers can’t miss. Along with re-releasing upgrades of all the Premium News Themes this week (Live Wire, Original, NewsPress, Flash News & Gazette Edition) Adii’s made a new All-Inclusive Developer’s Package available. The package includes Developer’s Licenses for all 7 themes, allowing the owner to use any theme on as many websites as they wish. The package is available for purchase at $499.95, which is a fantastic deal for any aspiring designer (this aspiring designer definitely thinks so!).
So what’s Adii’s contest about? It’s pretty simple - you can win yourself a copy of the new All-Inclusive Developer’s Package by blogging about the contest. Right on. Being a hardcore photoshop and wordpress junkie, I’ve always wanted to dive into WordPress theme design development. I so admire the functionality that Adii’s team has packed into the Premium News Theme designs, but being a self taught coder, I’d have to go to great lengths to add all that functionality in myself. To start out on projects with one or two of Adii’s function-packed designs would be a dream - being able to leverage the care that’s been put in on the back end would really allow me to focus all my energy on tweaking the designs and turn the themes into something unique and different.
My personal favorite of the 7 is the Gazette Edition. I’ve had my eye on it for a while, and I’m pumped that Adii’s added the recent Live Wire-inspired upgrades. The rotating featured post section, along with the prime ad spots makes it a perfect candidate for my next blog project redesigningtheworld.com, a blog focusing on rethinking design(s) we take for granted. I’ve been psyched about the project and I’ve been hunting for just the right theme, so winning this contest would make my year. It’s so important to launch a blog with a great, unique theme and Adii’s work continuously sets the bar for WP design. In this humble blogger’s opinion, his attention to details like the Premium News Theme’s admin panel (making populating ads, video, flickr streams etc a cut and paste job) do so much for people who want to focus on content, not code. Attention to those kinds of details make him a trend-setting designer, and set him apart from other Premium Theme designers like Brian Gardner and Michael Pollock. In any case, that’s my two cents. Until April 4th, I’ll be sitting on the edge of my seat.
Feasting With A Foodie
We all eat, but some of us enjoy it more than others. Sometimes a lot more. Eating with someone who truly appreciates not only food, but everything that goes into the experience of eating, can be a total joy.
Last night I went out to dinner with a “foodie” friend of mine, Kevin, a staff writer for LAist.com whose up and coming blog 50meals.com is a must read for food-lovers living in, or around, Los Angeles. I admit that I go out to eat sushi a lot when I’m on projects in L.A., but I had never been to Little Tokyo, so when Kevin, a seasoned pro, excitedly suggested Sushi Gen I was in. From beginning to end, the night was full of lively conversation about food, life and all the small things that make the whole experience of meals so great. 
What I love about Kevin is that his energy and appreciation of all the meal’s details is infectious. He doesn’t just talk about food being “good” - Textures, aromas, colors and flavors all get an uncommon level of attention in the across-the-table banter. And, of course, sometimes no words are necessary - you can see it written all over his face when he takes a bite of something he’s really satisfied with. He totally lights up. (Kevin - how good was that melt-in-your mouth toro, or that black cod!?). All in all, the night reminded me of just how important it is to be around people who appreciate the small, simple things that make an experience joyful. Thanks to Kevin for such a memorable night in L.A.!
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